What I Know Now: 18 weeks

Another blog I stumbled upon - Oh, Brooke. Her lists of musings at various stages of her pregnancy made me laugh. She also has some good tutorials.

Inspired by her "What I Know Now" lists, I am going to share (er, rip the idea off) and give you my own "What I Know Now: The 18 week Edition".

1. It is smart to stock up on toilet paper, kleenex and panty liners when you get that plus sign. However, do NOT...I REPEAT DO NOT...under any circumstances buy the Target Up & Up Brand of Panty liners (non-preggos, this means you too). Just trust me on this. When you read in the book that ALL of your mucous membranes will loosen, your nose will instantly start running...and never stop.

2. You don't just wake up one day and have a cute bump. There are MANY weeks of gross-ness in between. And then when you have the bump, you might still feel gross. Imagine my surprise when I learned this.

3. You should avoid getting too attached to your clothes. What fits you one day may not fit you the next, seriously. Example: I wore my trusty Uniqlo jeans to dinner on a Saturday night. I put them on for a basketball game on Wednesday (read, 4 days later) and I have never been so uncomfortable in my life. Every morning, I play the "What's going to fit me today" game. My wardrobe is getting smaller and smaller...

4. People say really REALLY dumb things to you when you are pregnant. Things that you probably have said to many pregnant women before and never thought twice about. To all my friends who went pregnant before me, I am really sorry for uttering these dumb things.

5. It pays to have an expansive shoe collection, because as I told my boss earlier this week, if you have to wear ugly clothes, you can still rock awesome shoes.

6. In reference to #5, I am getting annoyed when previously pregnant women respond to statements with "Oh just wait". Yes, I know I will get bigger, and yes i know my boobs will eventually hit my stomach and lie there, and yes I know my feet will swell making these awesome wedge espadrilles impossible to wear, but LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT. (Oh Brooke also references the "just wait" phenomnenon in one of her lists...if not her, I know I read this somewhere else.)

7. Cheese should be given free to pregnant women. Is this included in the new health care bill?

8. From my very first doctor appointment forward, my doctor has consistently told me that "from the moment of conception, you are physiologically a different person". HOLY CRAP. This is very true in my case. Can I add "mentally, physically, emotionally" to that list right after physiologically? I think I like my old self better.

9. It is bad news to start on the baby room early, early being defined as 14 weeks in our case. It will be SO fun that you won't want to stop and then you will finish before you're even halfway through pregnancy and visitors to your house will start to think you and your husband are freaks.

10. Why the HELL do they put celebrities on the covers of pregnancy magazines or feature stories about them in email newsletters? I for one LOVE celebrity gossip (I was a former subscriber to Life & Style magazine after all) but I do not care that Gisele is back to modeling six weeks after giving birth. This does not boost my self esteem. (Yes, I think her recent Vogue photo spread made me cry.) Nor do I care what maternity clothes Tiffani Amber Theissen can afford to buy.

11. After months of not missing alcohol one bit, I caught a whiff of my husband's beer at dinner two nights ago and my mouth started watering. Sigh.

12. My nails are f--ing awesome. Seriously. If OPI could bottle whatever is coursing through my veins right now, they would make every woman in America happy.

13. It may take you a while before you can read/listen/watch anything to do with labor. When I watched the Office episdoe where Pam gives birth, I may have had a nightmare. Two nights ago, I attempted to read about labor in the Girlfriends Guide book (read: sort of a funny, lighthearted version of things) and I think I may have boosted my blood pressure a few points. I am TERRIFIED of labor. I don't know if I am more TERRIFIED of getting a needle stuck in my back (epidural) or going through a natural birth. Meaning, I would be all about the drugs, but I think I am more afraid of the needle than I am of just giving birth. Ok, I have to stop talking because I noticed some light anxiety even thinking about this.

14. You might like belly rubs. Surprisingly, after all my b--ing and moaning about everything else, I do like this part of pregnancy.

Happy Weekend!