How'd It Go?

Friday afternoon I toured the day care that was the number one pick on our list. To be fair, it was also the only pick on our list.

"How'd It Go," is the question you may be wondering.

I don't exactly know how to give an update about this. I want to say that I don't want to, nor do I mean to, offend anyone who uses daycare, particularly if you use the daycare or are interested in using the daycare that I will be speaking about. I went into the daycare thing with some biases. Growing up, my mother worked full time. We did not ever go to daycare. We went to an in-home place with a few other kids which we have fantastic memories of and where we had the most amazing adventures. Building tree forts, pea-picking, swimming at the pool, bike riding. It was great. My mom often comments on how lucky she was to have Karen, our sitter. Then when I was deemed "old enough", I stayed home with my baby sister (8 years younger) and began babysitting outside the home. I was several kids summer babysitter, was a babysitter/nanny during college (undergrad) and in-between my undergraduate and graduate degree, I was a full-time nanny for a 4 year old boy and an infant. We had a lot of fun and I sort of became a member of their family. When I was in grad school, I occassionally sat for a baby whose mom worked out of the home. I kind of always thought that these kids had it made with me as their sitter. (Yes, I am full of myself. I was a damn good nanny).

My husband's mom did not work so he was never in day care either.

SO. My expectations going into this daycare thing were two fold. On one hand, I had high expectations because everyone I work with raved about it (I'm big on personal recommendations). It's nationally accredited, it is convenient to where I work, all teachers have early education degrees, it has a low infant to teacher ratio, it is safe, etc. On paper, this place shines. It looks cute from the outside. On the other hand, I didn't know how I would like daycare because I didn't have it and I always thought that having a nanny would be more fun for my kids.

I went to my appointment and they were not prepared for me at all. The tours are scheduled through the national organization that the daycare falls under. Apparently they never got the memo that I was coming. They still were able to do the tour though, even though I was warned that the woman conducting the tour would be constantly interrupted since she was on security detail. At this time, the director of the day care was sitting at her desk doing work. Why she couldn't do the tour for me or at least take over for the woman I was with so that she wouldn't keep losing her train of thought while talking to me. The atmosphere was super chaotic. Part of this may have been due to the time I was there - 4:30 PM. A time when a lot of kids were getting picked up.

After some initial information sharing, we went to the infant rooms. They smelled very sterile - like Lysol. The room was pretty small and some soft music was playing. Even with the music and door shut, the chaos from the older kid rooms could still be heard. I got the run down on labeling breast feeding bottles, the daily schedule sheets, etc. One plus - I could come whenever I wanted to feed the baby. One HUGE minus - the daycare does not accept/use cloth diapers. I am a pretty big advocate of cloth diapers and want to try using them so that was a major blow.

The other thing I noticed is that all four infants in this room were in their bouncy chairs and the teacher was sitting on the floor looking at them. One thing my tour leader told me is that the transition from being home with baby to dropping them off at daycare would be hard on my and the baby and that I should not try to hold the baby that much at home because they can't be held all the time at daycare. Now, I realize that I won't be able to hold the baby all the time and nor would the daycare teacher, but that comment rubbed me the wrong way. Combined with seeing the teacher just watching babies in bouncy chairs didn't really help ease my mind.

After touring each of the infant rooms, we moved to the 8-12 month rooms which they move to when they become more mobile. This room was a little bigger.

After a lot of chaos, noise and countless interruptions, the tour was over. Of course you have to fill out an application with a $115 non-refundable deposit to secure your spot. I left without doing either. I just was not okay with it. I felt that if this was one the best daycares, I really don't want to see the worst, or the middle-of the road daycares. I think I may have started crying a bit because it was not at all what I was expecting. I couldn't imagine dropping my baby off to sit in that little room all day long and not go outside. (They rarely take the infants outside I guess). I stopped myself from calling my college-age sister and offering her tons of money to quit school and come be my nanny. I was instantly jealous of my brother who was able to piece together various family members to take care of my niece to this day. We don't really have this option given that we live a good hour from my family and the hubs does not have a very big family or anyone to really take this on on a regular basis. (We will be able to take advantage of our family members for once in a while types of things like vacations, nights out etc though, for which I am thankful.)

So I don't think we will be pursuing daycare, which is nice on one hand because I don't have to worry about lining something up right now and getting on any lists. But it's also something that I can't cross off the list at this time. I will have to pursue some in-home places and do some nanny interviews further down the road, which will be a lot of work but that's where we are at.

I was talking with my friend CD last night and was reminded that parenting will be a unique experience for everyone. What works for one family will not work for every family. Obviously this daycare was the perfect choice for a lot of families and it would be a great option for some people. I think that I probably will have some reservations about the nanny/in-home thing too once I start going down that road. Lesson learned: You have to find what works for you. Here's hoping we do!